Your First Day
We have taken the time to ask some of our contributors what they thought of their first day as a CAPEX Contributor. Below you will find some of their experiences and any questions they had along with answers to their questions.

What was your first day at Capex like? (Answered below by contributors)

Contributor A. Very welcoming. And astonishing. I'd never seen some of the things that I saw that day in real life. But I was made to feel at home and at ease. Like anywhere, it takes time to establish relationships and make friends.

Contributor B. I was really nervous, but a friend that was a member "guested" me in. The orientation was informative and I found it welcoming to see the same people that I sat in orientation with at the business meeting.

I loved the Exploratorium so much that I demo-bottomed for one of the mini-presentations and immediately knew that I had found my home. Then we all went out to dinner and to the social where the real fun began. After just one night at CAPEX I knew that I had found what I was looking for.

Contributor C. I was nervous because I was very new to the lifestyle and didn't really know what to expect. Most everyone was friendly. It was really like a business seminar except the content was not boring!

Contributor D. hmmm...simple 5 mniutes after I was there...I felt normal.

Contributor E. I attended a introduction session with my female submissive in early 2008. We met at a public restaurant, for a 1 hour introductory gateway meeting with 1 of the Capex officers. It was relaxed, discussed and got answers to all our questions. We joined that afternoon and attended a demo and later a social that evening that included a BDSM 101 class. The entire process was very professional, non-threatening, friendly and welcoming. Our first day we were greeted by many members, and made to feel welcome.

Contributor F. It was very comfortable and non-intimidating. We were made to feel welcome at both the orientation and the social.

Contributor G. My Dom and I went to the orientation not quite knowing what to expect. We sat down at the restaurant and ordered our food. Waited till all arrived and then the Contributor Director spoke to us about CAPEX, gave us the Rules in printed form. Had us fill out a few forms and answered any questions the group had. When we signed and paid we were given the location to the Social and told what time it started. We attended the social and met a lot of nice people and basically observed how the CAPEX social worked.

What can you expect on your first day?

Contributor 1. Read the website to familiarize yourself with the rules and ettiquette.
Then contact the Contributorship Director to RSVP for an orientation session. This will explain everything in detail.
Then it's on to the business meeting to learn what is going on in the inner workings of CAPEX and see what matters are at hand. Then take a break and come back inside for the 2 hour presentation (which is split up into 2 parts for a quick break). After the full demo we break for dinner and return around 8:00 p.m. for the Social.

At the Social there is a socializing area to mingle and enjoy snacks, and there are different play stations set off from that main social room. As you walk from one to another make sure not to disturb anyone's scene. There are many different pieces of equipment setup from beautiful St.Andrews Crosses, a spanking bench, massage tables, and an unusual piece called the Mantis which looks like equipment from a home gym).

After playing and watching many different scenes for hours and mingling and talking with everyone that made me feel very welcome, the night finally comes to an end around 2:00am.

On the drive home (if it's not a floor party) I think about all the things I saw and what I learned and how great the people were and how diverse the crowd was. Wow!

Contributor 2. The Meet and Greet orientation is painless and safe. You meet at a restaurant and just go over the CAPEX policies. It also gives you a friendly face to look for when you get to the actual meeting because you now know at least one person there, the person who conducted the orientation. was the one who did my orientation and made sure she saw me at the meeting and introduced me to others. I felt like I could ask her if I had any questions.

Contributor 3. Do NOT be intimidated. Self-confidence is a must throughout your whole life, but it's especially needed on your first day. If you are new to the lifestyle and you come alone, make sure you tell the Contributorship Director at orientation so maybe they can direct you to another contributor as a "chaperone or sponsor". Do not feel like you are showing any weakness. Just coming to orientation is the hardest step to joining a public BDSM group.

Contributor 4. Usually a 1-2 hour demonstation or instruction meeting presented by more experienced people of the BDSM community. The classroom style meeting is held in a large meeting room of a local hotel. You are free to ask questions, or just observe. No one hits on anyone, nothing is threatening, just people sharing knowledge on topics of interest. Afterwards you can feel free to leave, or mingle and talk to other members or the presenter(s) for more information. Later in the evening, you can attend a "Social" where one has an opportunity to observe or participate in some actual BDSM activities., Absolutely no sex, no leering, no one is made to feel pressured or ill at ease. You can stay for 5 minutes or 5 hours. The entire day is designed to offer you an opportunity to network and meet people of similiar interests.

Contributor E. No pressure, to be allowed to relax and get your footing so to speak.

FAQ section

Q. Isn't the social environment really stuffy and made up of pushy, threatening people who follow a lot of rules that I don't know anything about? I've read it's like that...

A. No. This is real life and real people. This isn't the equivalent of a real life internet chat room where everyone behaves respectfully to each other. CAPEX is like any other group of people - the overwhelming majority is made up of average everyday folks who are basically good and friendly - perhaps even more so than most.

Q. Why is there so much bureaucracy involved with attending an event?

A. Much of it has to do with protection and security. It can be cumbersome, but it should be understood that most of the rules that go along with attending an event are for the protection of those attending, as well as for the organization itself.

Q. It's just some crazy sex club where I'm going to get hit on all night?

A. Wrong. First off, CAPEX is not a sex club - we don't have sex at events, which isn't to say that it isn't VERY erotic and interesting and fun! As for getting hit on, it's like this - we don't tolerate that kind of behavior. While no one can control the actions of others, when someone does behave inappropriately, there are procedures in place for dealing with it - we have a Social Director at every function who's job is to handle just that kind of thing and maintain and safe and non-threatening environment.

Q. I hear that it's all a bunch of cliques and that new people aren't really that welcome.

A. True. Well, sort of. Here's the deal: Some people who are at a CAPEX events have been coming for years and have had time to establish and build trust and relationships with each other. It's only natural that they are going to collect together to enjoy each other's company. But keep in mind that each of them were once just like you: attending their first party. New people are welcome, you are the life blood of CAPEX. If you see a group of people sitting together, feel free to ask if you can join. Most people will welcome you and will be happy to answer any questions you might have or just hold a conversation with you.

Q. Will someone find out who I am or my identity somehow?

A. No, CAPEX keeps all information strictly confidential and encourages everyone to use their scene name to also help protect anonymity.

Q. If I get a membership, how long does it last, what do I have to do?

A. Our contributorships are annual and you will have to renew your membership every year, but you can keep you same contributorship number.

Q. Will I have to say or do anything at the meeting? Will I have to introduce myself or be recognized as a new or potentially new member?

A. No.  You can just blend in and check things out.

Q. If I see a CAPEX member at the grocery store, will he/she speak to me or mention that I was at CAPEX? 

A. No, your privacy is protected.  No one would ever come up to you in a public place when you are around vanillas and say, "Hey, didn't I meet you at CAPEX the other night?" Please keep in mind that it works both ways.

Q:  Will anyone expect me to join in a scene or volunteer in a demonstration?

A:  No.  Joining or volunteering is purely optional.  No means no at CAPEX.  No one will ever try to talk you into anything.

Q:  Why does CAPEX wait to give out the location till after the new contributor has signed up?

A: To keep CAPEX locations private and to keep your aninimity secure.

Q:  Does CAPEX go over all the rules at the orientation meeting?

A: We hand you the rules and give time for you to read it. If you have any questions pertaining to the rules you are free to ask.

Q:  Is there anyway for a potential contributor to find out more about CAPEX prior to attending the orientation?

A: Yes, read through the CAPEX website and attend an orientation. You are free to ask questions at the orientation and we will answer them as best as possible.

Q: In general where are the socials located?

A: In the Charlotte Metro Area.

Q: Is CAPEX mainly for couples or are singles welcomed?

A: No, CAPEX is for anyone that desires to become a contributor, weather they are a couple or single.

P.O. Box 551244 | Gastonia, NC 28055 |