Frequently Asked Questions

And answers you might not expect…

Is this some crazy sex club? Will I be hit on all night?

Absolutely not! First off, CAPEX is not a sex club – although scenes can get very erotic, interesting and fun, we do not allow sex at events! As for getting hit on, it’s like this – we don’t tolerate unwelcome behavior. Consent is a big deal in our circles. If someone tries to strike up a conversation, you can absolutely decline. While no one can control the actions of others, when someone does behave inappropriately, we have procedures in place to deal with it. There will be at least one Board Director at every function who’s jobs are to help maintain a safe and non-threatening environment.

Why is there so much bureaucracy just to attend an event?

Our intention is not to involve a lot of bureaucracy at all; however, for the protection and security of our Contributors and their guests, we don’t make it overly easy. Sure, it can feel a bit cumbersome, but it should be understood that most of the rules that go along with attending an event are for the protection of those attending, as well as for the organization itself.

Why does CAPEX “hide” the location of the events?

We don’t advertise the specific location of our events to the general public for the protection and security of our Contributors and their guests. The goal is to provide a fun, yet safe environment for everyone attending, which includes protecting their privacy as well.

Where are the events held, in general?

In general, our events are typically held in the Charlotte metro area.

What’s the environment like?

CAPEX is like any other group of people – the overwhelming majority is made up of average everyday folks who are basically good and friendly – perhaps even more so than most. This is real life and real people. The social environment is intended to be open and welcoming, and we do not tolerate pushy or threatening behavior.

Oh, and don’t get overwhelmed with certain BDSM terms. For example, the term “dungeon” can conjure up some dark and dreary mental images. However, we refer to our dedicated scene areas as “dungeons,” so but that standard you could say the same thing about your bedroom or living room at home!

Are new people really welcome, or is it really “cliquey”?

In general, yes… new people are certainly welcome. There are several people that will make it a point to say hi and try to make you feel welcome. Of course, as with any community of people, there are people who have been coming to CAPEX events for years and have built a lot of trust and relationships with each other. It’s only natural that they are going to collect together to enjoy each other’s company.

However, keep in mind that each of them were once just like you: attending their first event. New people are welcome, you are the life blood of CAPEX. If you see a group of people sitting together, feel free to ask if you can join. Most people will welcome you and will be happy to answer any questions you might have or just hold a conversation with you.

Do I have to share true identity?

CAPEX keeps all personal information strictly confidential. While we will need to verify identification and age for legal purposes, and there is a form or two to sign at your first event, this information is never shared with anyone. Your privacy is paramount to CAPEX.

Will someone “out” me if I run into them in public, like at a grocery store?

Goodness, we certainly hope not! Privacy and consent are very important to those in our organization. In most cases, those you might run into could have just as much to lose by “outing” themselves or someone else. So generally speaking, no CAPEX Contributor should ever come up to you in a vanilla setting and say, “Hey, didn’t I meet you at CAPEX the other night?” – Please keep in mind that it works both ways.

That said, no one can absolutely guarantee the choices and behavior of others. If something like that were to happen, please do contact a board member right away!

Do I have to attend or speak in business meetings?

Not at all. Contributor business meetings are intended for Contributors, but you are welcome to sit back and take it all in. The only people who have to talk are those on the Board of Directors… It’s part of what they volunteered for 🙂

Do I have to participate in anything?

There are absolutely no requirements to participate in any scene, and no one should ever try to pressure you into doing anything you do not want to do. Consent is important, and no means NO at CAPEX. Joining in or volunteering is purely optional, and we’ll still think you’re cool if you just choose to sit and observe.

What goes on at an Orientation meeting?

It’s crazy madness… ok, not really. We will likely have a few laughs along the way, but the Orientation meeting is intended to get you familiar with who CAPEX is, how we operate and what to expect. We will go over things like the ByLaws, social and event rules, discretion policies and general etiquette. And of course, answer questions!

Can I find out more prior to attending an Orientation meeting?

Yes, of course. First, we encourage you to read through the CAPEX website, as well as our social media profile on FetLife. Second, feel free to ask any question you like – you can reach us through the Contact page on this website. Finally, we absolutely encourage that you attend an orientation. It really is the best place to get all the details.

Is CAPEX for couples only?

Nope. CAPEX is for anyone that desires to become a Contributor, regardless of your relationship status. CAPEX is not a sex club, swingers club or dating club – sure, you may meet someone you connect with, but CAPEX is intended to be an educational and social environment for those within the BDSM lifestyle and the local scene.

How much does it cost to attend a CAPEX event?


CONTRIBUTORS/RECIPROCALS

$30 – Demo & Social (Full Event)
$20 – Presentation/demo only 4pm-6pm
$25 – Social only 8pm-12am

GUESTS

$45 – Demo & Social (Full Event)
$35 – Presentation/demo only 4pm-6pm
$40 – Social only 8pm-12am

Information on pricing can also be found under the events tab, or as a pinned message on the Fetlife CAPEX groups.